It appears as though I will be entertaining you all with my insights and quarks here at Something Blue on a fairly regular basis, which is something I am very excited about and happy to do. I am, however, a creature of habit and work better when I have a game plan. So, as my posting here will be a weekly (or so) thing, I decided to come up with a theme. I am new to the wedding business. I knew very little about how weddings worked when I started working them a year ago, and had only attended four in my entire life. As such, I thought it would be interesting to step through the entire wedding process, from the initial engagement, through the dress shopping, cake selecting, and location scouting, all the way to the gifts and the thank you cards, to get a better handle on how these traditions came to be. I often wonder, as I’m sure many of us do, how couples make these decisions or better yet WHO makes them, and why. What kinds of things are you curious to know more about and/or how did you tackle these steps in your planning process? Feel free to give me a holler if there are any suggestions about what you’d like to know more about!
So without further ado, today’s topic is going to be proposals. “How did he do it”? “Did you have any idea”? These seem to be common questions directed toward a bride-to-be after making the announcement that she is engaged. I, myself, am a planner. I’ll admit that right now. I like surprises as much as the next girl, but being caught off guard with a surprise proposal would probably send me right in to panic mode. Which got me to thinking about the history of proposals. How did this tradition get started, and was it always about the surprise? How often in this day-and-age are engagements a surprise? Why is it generally the guy that pops the question? Are more and more women choosing to propose to their guys? (I have friends who plan to ask their boyfriends instead of the other way around). Do guys still ask fathers for their permission? And why must guys get on one knee and present a ring?
Consulting the internet on this particular subject revealed the following. The tradition of the marriage proposal is a relatively new idea, as it is meant to give the women a say in whether or not the relationship should move forward. The proposal itself consists of a question “will you marry me?” and a response in the affirmative solidifies the couple’s desire to plan for their eventual marriage. Getting down on one knee symbolizes respect, such as when knights kneel while being knighted. Presenting an engagement ring at the time of the proposal is an outward symbol to society that the woman is engaged to be married. It is becoming more and more common for guys to want to wear engagement rings prior to their wedding as well. It is traditional for the guy to ask the girl for her hand. While this norm is shifting and more and more women are deciding to propose to their partners, many guys indicate that they prefer to be the ones to “pop the question.” Why? In all of my research, the best answer I could find is because they want to! Many women spend much of their lives dreaming about the perfect wedding. For guys, the thrill of coming up with a creative and surprising proposal has become their “claim to fame” in the wedding process.
While a ‘surprise’ proposal is exciting, a general rule of thumb these days is to discuss the prospect of marriage before popping the question. Asking whether or not the girl wants a ring, and if she wants to pick it out, is also customary. While asking for the bride’s parents’ blessing is not required, especially if the bride is older, it does show respect for her family and their wishes. In the end, there is no right or wrong way to carry out a proposal. Making it a joyful and memorable experience for the couple makes for a great story to share for years to come as the couple makes that big step to commit their lives to one another.
Do you want to/ were you surprised by your proposal?
For your viewing pleasure: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/3041930/the_best_marriage_proposal_in_world_history/
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